Double-cheeseburger on Italian

Wait, wait, wait! This is all wrong. None of this goes together. Two homemade cheeseburgers that are chunkier than flat– that happens sometimes. But to sit two cheeseburgers side by side? What are you thinking? Is it drugs? Are you on drugs? You must be by picking Italian bread, split from the middle of the loaf and opened outward. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, and I know I’m coming across harsh, so allow me to apologize. The truth is that I’m just jealous of the chances you take. You’re a daredevil with bread.